1st Annual Reviewswithoutlegs Rap Battle (Kanye, J. Cole, Jay-Z)

Ladies and Gentlemen, boys and girls, children of all ages.  I proudly present to you an epic battle sure to be relevant in 10 years time and the likes of which has never been seen before! I'd used a certain phrase here but I don't want to be sued by Michael Buffer.

Let's get this out of the way.

I am white.  I am from suburbia.  I was very blessed and led a pretty happy life with minimal issues created by others.

But I fucking love rap music.

I was sitting here trying to remember the first rap song I heard and I really can't remember. I'm pretty sure it was MC Hammer U Can't Touch This at Sea World or something when I was 8, so I'm not going to count that.  I really got into music when I started sports and my first year I went off to sports camp.  This was 1999 or so and I suddenly was exposed to DMX, Doctor Dre, Eminem, Everlast, Nelly, and who knows who else.  While only a couple of those I'd say are legends, they were good enough to get me interested in the genre.  Outkast, Jurassic 5, Jay-Z, a little old school Slick Rick, Run DMC, hell even some good clean fun like Will Smith.  There was just something about these songs I loved.  

Being older now, I'm trying to break it down in an academic way,  and I think I know what it is that speaks to me in rap. Whenever I listen (or attempted to play) to music, the two things I was always good at was remembering lyrics and keeping the beat.  That's what rap is all about to me.  My favorite rap songs have a catchy beat with not just lyrics that flow well, but those that deliver a message.  In more recent years, I've been struggling to find good rap as the "crunk" and "trap" scene took over.  Just in the past few years I've found some good ones.  Tech N9ne, Lupe Fiasco, Watsky, and hosts of others.

But this summer an odd thing happened.  2 of my current favorites and one I had heard good things about all released albums within a one month span of each other.  The first 2 up were Kanye West-Yeezus, and J. Cole-Born Sinner, releasing the same week.  Oddly, despite all the hype, Kardashian headlines, and history of greatness, Yeezus didn't crush like J Cole like everyone thought.  And while Kanye's weird ass album got the mainstream headlines, everyone who listened to both said J Cole should crush him.  About a month later, I heard a new Jay-Z song on the radio, enjoyed it, and decided to throw that album in my rotation too.

So this gave me an idea.  I was going to review all three albums individually track by track, but no one wants to read that wall of text so here's what I decided.  I'm going to listen to all 3, all the way through (again as I've done each 1-3 times so far), and give general impressions and great tracks.  Then, at the end, I'm going to award 1 album the prestigious "Reviewwithoutlegs Rap Battle" Trophy.

First up is Kanye.

Kanye West-Yeezus

While it sounds cool at times and has great beats, this album is just weird as fuck, it starts with Kanye nonsensically rapping over a bad computer beat that gets distorted.  Did I mention Kanye sounds high as fuck through this entire album? Just looking at the tracklist should tell you how many drugs our friend Mr. West was on.  We get random things that don't work with songs like yelling over the outro (i mean straight up murder screams, not yelling "COME ON" or whatever), reggaeton with barking dogs, and god knows what else.  By track three, I Am a God, you know Kanye has completely flipped his shit.  I mean I know its ridiculous and its rap music but this takes it too far for me.  Autotune returns at the end of the album and I remember I hated 808s and Heartbreaks so much that an American Idol no-name made a Kanye song awesome with just a guitar.  Mr. West I beg of you, stop trying so hard. You're already talented, you dont need all this shit.

Key tracks: Black Skinhead, New Slaves, Bound 2


J. Cole-Born Sinner
Mostly overlooked because of the release of Yeezus, this album quickly spread by word of mouth.  The very first track starts with a spoken line "It's way darker this time." He's not kidding as he comes out with a caustic send up of rap and even to a point himself.  I quickly get turned off by a skit about sending money to a preacher. Ugh.  Stupid unconnected skits.  Anyway, while there's a lot of traditional rap here, its more..self loathing than the usual guy in the rap game.  Much of what J Cole says in his bragging he soon says "man this is fucking stupid why am i doing this?"  For some reason, I really dig this album.  He gets a ton of big name guest spots.  My main beef here is the songs connect almost too well as I can't tell many of them apart yet.  Slow ballad-esque beats, over venomous lyrics.  Its interesting and I enjoy it, but I want a little more.  He's got me paying attention for his next one though.   Is it bad the musical interludes are some of my favorite tracks on the album?

Key Tracks: Villuminati,  Trouble, Let Nas Down

Jay-Z Magna Carta

Yet again an album release I almost missed.  However I was travelling to go see the g/f, and was flipping radio stations as my rock station was playing too much hick rock.  One of the local hits station happened to say as I was flipping "Coming up after the break, our premiere of the new Jay-Z, Justin Timberlake track!" Yes What the fuck was said aloud to no one in my car.  I figured I'd give it a listen..and surprisingly loved it.  Needless to say, when it dropped I acquired the album and gave it a listen.  Surprisingly the first two tracks were different but captured Hov's braggadacio perfectly while being fun to listen too.  Its like the polar opposite of the Kanye album.  While Mr. Carter plays with some different beats, it still is distinctly Jay-Z without being insane.  For example, Track 3-Tom Ford has a distinct chiptune worked into the beat.  But Jay-Z isn't doing a chiptune song. Its not a grand statement or anything on Jay's station in life as a father or anything, but the man knows how to deliver.  I don't want to skip tracks, and that's rare. And REM references!

Key Tracks: Holy Grail, Picasso Baby, Oceans

So who's the winner in the first Rap Battle?

While it wasn't as a runaway as I thought it would be, Magna Carta was by far the best rap album I heard in this set.  J Cole was much better than expected though...and Yeezus? well...Cocaine is a hell of a drug.

So after a couple of months, this is done (job started, haven't had time).  More reviews coming soon. I promise.

-Oz